Written by: Glen Ficarra & John Requa (known for: Bad News Bears, Cats & Dogs, I Love You Phillip Morris, and the upcoming Focus which will star Will Smith) -- Revisions were made by Joel & Ethan Coen, polished by Terry Zwigoff
Dated: February 1st, 2002.
Pages: 91
Before I say anything, I have to get something off my chest. I love Bill Murray. I'm going to see Monuments Men when it comes out because he's in it. I love Jack Nicholson and I think he's one of the best actors ever. But when it comes to Bad Santa I just can't picture anyone other than Billy Bob Thornton. It's hard for me to even think of anyone else playing this iconic character. I also have to admit that I don't read iMDB trivia that often, so when I opened this script, I had NO idea I'd find "Revisions by Joel and Ethan Coen" on the title page. I was ecstatic. I had no idea they helped sculpt this movie.
The draft that I read of this film was pretty close to being the final. Some parts of the film are missing in this draft and other parts are written differently. This is a perfect opportunity to analyse these difference and ask why they were made.
No Advent Calendar
I was kind of shocked to see this missing from the script. I'm sooo glad they added it to the story. Willie's flaw is very clear. He doesn't care about anything. Thurman loves his advent calendar and takes it super seriously. When Willie rips this apart and ruins it, we see his flaw at its very darkest peak. This allows us to see the change in Willie when he wakes up the next morning and is overwhelmed with guilt. A good way to show character development is to show his/her flaw clearly and have them feel the guilt of it after.
Blackmailing
The scene where Willie and Marcus threaten Chipeska that they'll blame their termination on discrimination of small people is different. Instead of having this confrontation like in the movie, Chipeska brings it up as a possibility when talking to Gin (Bernie Mac's character). Don't have your story based on assumptions. Having Chipeska assume something isn't as fun as watching his assumption get thrown into his face.
Thurman's Revenge
The T-Shirt says "SHIT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PARTY NAKED" at the end of the script, but there isn't revenge against the bully who have him a wedgie earlier. Instead Thurman just cleans blood off his doorstep. Thurman's flaw was clear. He didn't have the courage to stand up and be brave. By having him avenge himself (albeit by kicking the bully in his nuts to garner a cheap laugh), we not only complete the kid's arc, but make Willie's contribution to the kid's life even greater. Always finish your arcs for every character.
These were the three major changes that I noticed. But, I wanted to move on to some different aspects of the script because there's a lot to talk about.
Character Likeability
Willie is the biggest scumbag on the planet. There is no possible way to like this guy. He's so absurd that he curses in front of kids. He's a thief. He's the most ugly person you'll ever meet. His partner tells him this, flat out. So what makes Willie such an awesome character? He's fascinating! Why? Well, ask yourself something. Would Willie be a great character if he were a mechanic? A pizza guy? The answer is no. What makes Willie fascinating is his career choice (well, his career choice that disguises his career choice). He's Santa! The jolly plump red cheeked children's hero. When you think of Santa, you don't think of an alcoholic who robs dept. stores. When you clash such an ugly character with a classic holiday hero, you're going to get people interested. It's comical to see Santa swearing and having sex at Women's Big & Tall. I know comedy is very subjective, but the potential of people liking this is sky high. Sometimes making a character this miserable and ugly can backfire, but when you contrast it with a character like Thurman, not only are you in for some good dialogue, you keep us in our seats because we care. This leads me to --
Save-the-Cat Alert!
Thurman saves Willie just as he's about to get beaten up in the parking lot outside of the Angus Bar & Grill. We may not like Willie as a human being, but this kid's well-being is immediately vulnerable when Willie drives him home. It's great that we care for Thurman. We sympathize for him because he has no one taking care of him. We know he has a good heart because he tried his best to save Santa and he wasn't afraid. It's the perfect contrast to a character like Willie who is critically flawed.
Goals
The only thing keeping this story from getting an A on my ratings scale is its lack of character goals. For a large majority of this script we have Willie taking it easy at Thurman's house. Although scenes of Thurman driving him nuts are hilarious, the pace of this story could have benefited from a more active protagonist. People who don't find these scenes funny might find this movie a bit dull because it relies heavily on the chemistry between our anti-hero and the kid instead of our anti-heroes goals and ambitions.
Set-Up/Pay-off
There is an awesome piece of dialogue set up when Marcus tells Willie to stick to women at Big & Tall. Later in the script Willie tells Marcus that he's changed and Marcus responds by asking him if he's moved on to Petites. Willie responds, no, but I beat the crap out of a few kids today - but, you know, for a purpose. And Marcus responds that he needs many years of therapy.
Petites is set up earlier when Marcus talks about Women's Big & Tall. It makes sense as a zinger & it adds cohesion to the story. If you can set one thing up early in the script and pay it off later on, your story seems less random. It's also important to note Willie's response. Instead of saying "fuck off" like we'd expect a person to reply, he responds with an ironic "no, but I beat the crap out of some kids" which works with the Petite zinger. I thought it was great.
Dialogue
I love the dialogue in this script. If you have good characters that contrast each other, you're going to have good dialogue. If you have two characters that are kind of the same (Willie and Marcus are both greedy scumbags), make one of them different physically like they did here. It worked.
Amateur scripts have straight answers. It's funny because while I was reading this, Thurman punishes Willie for giving straight answers. Every yes or no answer is followed by another question until Willie flips his shit.
Kid: You're bringing my present early?
Willie: NO.
Kid: But I never told you what I wanted.
Willie: I said I didn't bring it, dipshit.
If you're going to give a straight answer, try having the other character punish it. See how it works.
Consensus
One of my all time favorite Christmas movies. It suffers from the lack of a strong character goal. Willie essentially sits around and waits for Christmas to rob his mall. He doesn't attempt to better himself until his conscience eats at him. Everything else is well written and if this is your type of comedy, you'll love the movie. It has some great stuff in it. Willie is a fascinating character.
B+
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