Written by: Barry Cohen, Ted Newsen, & James Cameron
Page Count: 120ish pages (copy and pasted)
Dated: July, 29th, 1993.
Script Link: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/spider_man_cohen_newson_cameron_8_4_93draft.html
When it comes to comic book movies, there's a certain spot in my heart that expects a high standard of storytelling. Let's face it. Marvel and DC have become powerhouses at the box-office. Thor 2 just hit half a billion dollars. You could argue that this surge of momentum started in 2002 when Sam Raimi's Spider-Man hit theatres. Sure, we had the success of Batman at this point, but shit hit the fan after spidey launched. Think of all the comic book movies in the past 10 years. It's incredible. Anyway. This script would have led to our first major impression of Spidey on the big screen. Could blockbuster titan James Cameron possibly create a Spider-Man film better than the one which set the bar in '04?
The answer, and I'll say it simply, is no.
This screenplay was a bit of a mess and lacked sufficient conflict to keep me interested.
I completely understand that this was 1993. Superhero movies were not intended to have a dark tone as Christopher Nolan set with his Batman Trilogy. Maybe I'm not supposed to take Spider-Man as seriously as I do. BUT, that's not the point here. I'm blessed with having two different eras of Spidey franchises. I'm even more blessed to have the opportunity to see "what could have been" by reading this script. It's a great time to compare and contrast what worked and what didn't. I'll be focusing more on Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 in this review because Webb's version is way too recent and there's a 20 year gap between scripts.
Lets dip into the story.
Peter Parker is a senior in University and we see a few familiar faces on campus -- Liz, Harry, and Flash. His science professor is a bit cuckoo. You might now him as Doctor Otto Octavius and you SHOULD know him as "Doc Ock". We begin in an old dingy basement under their lecture hall where Ock conducts experiments on a machine he calls the Cyclotron with his sidekick Weiner. The university is quite sick of his antics and they want him out, but he's convinced that his work is almost complete. Peter is extremely bad with girls. He likes Liz, but doesn't have the courage to ask her out. Long story short -- Ock wants Peter's help, but Peter already offered to work exclusively with the Dean on his next paper. Ock gets angry, fires up the machine and it backfires -- causing him to turn into an evil monster with mechanical arms called "Waldos". Peter leaves only to discover ambulances and fire trucks arriving outside the building. In attempt to get pictures (yes JJ is in this story), Peter goes back into the building, gets bitten by a spider and whoala -- SPIDER-MAN!!!
He trains on top of buildings, learns his new powers, becomes a wrestler, and then Uncle Ben dies. We all know that story. But it's different. Weiner actually kills Uncle Ben while searching for Peter's science work. Peter decides he wants to be more than just a wrestler after this. Spidey tracks down Weiner and drops him 3 stories off a building into some bushes, leaving him with a message that Doc Ock can't have Peter's help.
The story comes to a close when Doc Ock tries for one final time to get the Cyclotron working and Spider-Man has to stop him before the world ends.
I could sit and talk about Spider-Man all day, but this is about learning the craft.
1) Set up conflict as much as possible. This script lacked the conflict that Raimi's Spider-Man was so successful with. Peter lives on his own in this story. There isn't the constant pressure of always being expected home at a certain time to avoid suspicion. There isn't the guilt when Peter forgets to do things for Uncle Ben and Aunt May because he's so caught up with being Spider-Man. If your character is hiding something, find ways to put him in situations where he could be exposed.
2) This is the same lesson as the first point. In Raimi's Spider-Man, Harry is in love with Mary Jane. They actually date and develop a relationship with each other. This causes a ton of friction between characters. In this story -- Harry hardly has any purpose. Liz and Flash aren't a couple. Liz is there for the taking. Peter just has to find the courage. Not as fun.
3) A character should always have a purpose. Harry's character in this script was paper thin. I can't recall any purpose of writing this character into the story. He's in a few early scenes where he gets shut down by Kim (Liz's friend, hottest girl in school) and then he's in a few scenes near the end working on computers to learn about the Cyclotron. He's never developed. Not a single bit. This is such a glaring mistake after watching Raimi's Harry as a central character to that plot.
4) Personally connect your hero to his journey. The Uncle Ben death scene in Raimi's Spider-Man is monumental. Peter's selfishness leads to a crook gunning down his father figure. Uncle Ben dies in Peter's arms. One of the last things he remembers his Uncle saying was the famous quote "with great power comes great responsibility". Weiner killing Uncle Ben doesn't personally attach Peter to the journey of becoming Spider-Man as effectively because it wasn't his fault.
5) Embarrass your hero! One of the best ways to gain likeability of your protagonist is to embarrass him. Ock sets a minor fire to the lecture hall in the opening sequence. Liz is trapped behind flames. Peter goes to put the fire out with an extinguisher, but fails to work it properly. Flash shoves him out of the way and puts it out himself. Liz jumps in Flash's arms for saving her. In this moment, we can't help but feel sorry for Peter. The writers killed 2 birds with one stone here. Peter tries to "Save-the-Cat!" and gets embarrassed while doing it.
6) Always look over every scene and ask if it's believable. In this story, Harry teaches Liz to read computer code in under a minute while researching the Cyclotron. Ummm... yeah right.
7) Have other characters tell your character's backstory when possible. Harry runs up to Peter in the middle of a conversation with Liz and asks if the Astro-Physics Journal really accepted his paper. This works so much better than writing it in a character description. It's better to show a character's traits.
8) Ticking time bomb! Spidey has to destroy the Cyclotron before its timer hits 0:00 and the world ends. The stakes are jacked to the max here. It's not just life or death of one character -- we're talking the WHOLE world. I like this formula. I know its becoming a trope of modern day Superhero movies, but it works! It gives our story a time limit and it forces our characters to act.
9) Humanize the villain. In Spider-Man 2 we get a few scenes with Octavius at home with his wife. He's a normal guy. It isn't until the his experiment backfires that he turns into an evil lunatic. This helps us understand and makes it tragic in a way. In this script, Ock was always about himself. We don't get any scenes of him outside his basement laboratory. He's always known what the Cyclotron could do, he just didn't care of the outcome.
Now, this is only a 3rd Revision done by James Cameron. I can't say this was going to be the final product. This is what I have and it's the only thing I'm reviewing. The errors here could have been corrected by Cameron in a later draft for all I know. Heck, the story might even be completely different. It's just nice to be able to learn from a script written by one of the most successful filmmakers of all-time.
Unfortunately, I have to give this a bad rating. I really did want to like it though.
C
P.S. This is my first official blog post. I'm just blurting out things I've learnt from reading the script and comparing it to the 2004 film. I hope to keep my future articles really short. I'm talking written in under 30 mins short. It'll just take some time to find what format I like to use best.
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